SHARPENING THE GREEN PENCIL 2024 RESULTS

 

Preselector - Mona Iordan, Romania

Final judge - Barrie Levine, United States of America

 

Judge’s Comments (Barrie Levine)

I am grateful to all of the participants who submitted their poems and to the editors who placed their confidence in me. One aspect of my job was pure joy, to read through the entries, each of which exhibited the knowledge, skill, and talent of serious and dedicated haiku poets. On the other hand, the selection process enlisted my intense focus in order to choose and then rank the poems fairly and respectfully. I commend all poets for sharing their fine work for the benefit of the international haiku community.

 

JOINT FIRST PLACE

#126

cattle roundup
a charred bean can
full of rain

Debbie Strange, Winnipeg, Canada

 

A full plate of sensory imagery invites the reader to dwell on and in the scene that the poet offers. The cattle roundup, an iconic event in the American West, has left debris in its wake as a reminder of the sound and action that disappeared in the dust. This poem casts a spell with its rich content, recreating in the reader’s imagination a way of life that in its hardship and dangers lives vividly in the collective imagination. The r’s present in each line read well as a connecting thread, or perhaps a rope, given the rough and tumble context.

Line 2 gives the reader an opportunity to move beyond the romance of the prairie. Fire has already charred the can, and next, the rain fills it. Perhaps it will rust as it lies forgotten, a modern-day ruin. Nature and its elements take over as it always does, just as summer grasses eventually overtook the warriors’ battleground in Basho’s haiku. The emotional power of this poem is grounded in but exceeds the sum of its parts.

 

JOINT FIRST PLACE

#56

hopping
from one twig to another -
a warbler’s song

Paul Callus,  Hal Safi, Malta

 

“Hopping” drew me in immediately; it is such an upbeat and whimsical word that something good must surely follow. The light mood continues into the second line, with much to visualize in the bird’s movement through the tree. And to the reader’s surprise, it is not just a bird, but birdsong itself that is hopping about. The sensory impact builds with each line: the characteristic yellow color, the perky action, the touch and bounce on each twig, with sound woven throughout. The euphony in the reading, which matches the euphony of the subject matter, elevates this poem to excellence on all accounts.

 

SECOND PLACE

#75

pine sap
sticking to
our story

Edward Huddleston,  Baxley,  United States of America

 

The reader is invited into a wooded setting, with sap, shiny and gold, flowing slowly down the trees from spring into summer; the tactile “stickiness” in the first line continues on the second but promptly shifts to a human context with its own set of complexities. The poem allows for layers of interpretation within a taut frame, taking off from the resonant image, with an s in each line for continuity and edginess. Space opens to dwell on the story, truth or fiction or something in between, but in any event a story to which the narrator is fully committed. The possessive “our” brings in two or more participants with no further explanation, leaving even more questions unanswered. We are thrown into an unknown controversy with an unresolved aftermath, and its mystery keeps me wondering long after reading.

 

THIRD PLACE

#163

as if the wind
knows my name
childhood lane

Rajandeep Garg, Sangrur,  India

 

The magic of a hometown visit, whether actual or imagined, resonates deeply in this haiku. Opening the poem with “as if” skillfully softens the personification of the wind’s “knowing,” leaving room for ambiguity. The phrase brings to the fore the mystery of memory and the way it is triggered – a dream or reverie? an object or photo? a conversation? a visit? The childhood lane places the scene not only geographically but into a familiar sense of beginnings. The shadow location, memory lane, strengthens the association with skillful understatement. The smooth read of the poem – with the feel of a lullaby in the rhyming of the long a’s at the end of the last two lines - welcomes the child in us for a moment into a visit to the past.   The visitor knows the place, but the place knows them too.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

 

FIRST HONORABLE MENTION

#149

sea horizon
the straight line of
a little girl's fringe

Nadejda Kostadinova, Sofia, Bulgaria

 

The images in the phrase charmed me immediately: the fringe could be bangs cut straight across the little girl’s forehead, or perhaps a decorative fringe sewn onto her skirt or blouse. 

“Horizon” picks up on the geometry of the straight line but leaves room to ponder the future phases of the child’s life, unknown until the years unfold, and not always as predictable as a straight line. The reference reminds me how we place the side of our hand to our forehead and squint into the distance for a clearer picture, an effective juxtaposition that elevates this poem in my esteem.

Because I have a detailed picture in my mind of the little girl, I feel invested in her fate and hope that her innocence, and by extension that of all children, will not be corrupted by the tough world they live in. This beautiful poem makes me care.

 

SECOND HONORABLE MENTION

#8

the long whiskers
of a fingerpaint cat
winter rain

Tom Bierovic,  DeLand,  USA

 

A “fingerpaint cat” is a special breed indeed, created by the enthusiasm of a pre-schooler, with whiskers as long as their imagination will allow. Senses are actively brought into play: the touch of wet fingers smearing paint, the primary colors emerging into shapes, the laughter in the room, and the anticipated tickle of long whiskers. The sober tone of the third line drains the carefree mood just enough to remind the reader that scenes such as this are even more precious in the continuum of time. The consistency of fingerpaint (water-based) shifts gently to the winter drizzle. The juxtaposition of the child’s painting, and the rain that can wash it away along with childhood itself, is a bittersweet reminder of impermanence.

 

THIRD HONORABLE MENTION

#155

wishing
there was a duolingo—
morning birdsong

Kerry J Heckman, Seattle WA, USA

 

I applaud the narrator’s desire to up the ante and learn to communicate in another language - birdsong itself - if that were possible. This dream may be unattainable, as the writer implies in L1, but the yearning to permeate the veil – and achieve fluency - between the human and natural world, is a strong one for poets.

 

COMMENDED (unranked)

#29

a withered rose -
in my camera
still a bud

Nada Jačmenica,  Sveti Križ, Začretje, Croatia

 

The withered rose, dried and browned, formerly a vibrant beauty, sets a tone of contemplation. The narrator, with the aid of modern technology, has stored the bud in the digital memory of their camera, preserving a moment to which they can reconnect at will. The poem depicts through well-chosen images the transformation of nature from its young energy to its inevitable decay, a process of which we are all a part.

 

#118

faded cosmos
a monarch riding
the last of summer

Gavin Austin, Sydney, Australia

 

The poet gracefully conflates time and space as the monarch’s movement rides the season itself to its conclusion.  Butterflies in summer are a common sight, but instead of fluttering in a breeze, the monarch takes charge of the current, befitting its name and status, as it and the faded cosmos move in tandem into autumn.

 

 

#165

 

dry pond...

the unsent letter becomes

a paper frog

 

Yasmina Butnaru, Botoșani, Romania

 

 

In our era of accelerated climate change, flood and drought, human action or inaction, and other catastrophic events threaten the natural habitats of flora, fauna, and humans. Basho’s frog replaced by a scrap of paper powerfully highlights these ominous developments. The unsent letter resonates for me as a missed opportunity to repair the planet.

 

March 25, 2024